The Other Mother: A Lesbian'S Fight For Her Daughter (Living by Nancy Abrams

By Nancy Abrams

On a spring day in 1993, Nancy Abrams helped her daughter gown for day care, packed her lunch, and acknowledged goodbye. subsequent she drove to courtroom, the place she discovered that during the eyes of the legislation she used to be not anything greater than “a organic stranger” to the kid she helped convey into the realm and bring up. That used to be the final time she might see her daughter or pay attention her voice for 5 years.
    The different Mother starts off as Abrams and her girl lover choose to commence a kin jointly. With giddy anticipation, they seek for a sperm donor, store for child outfits and crib, and attend childbirth sessions. yet regardless of their excessive hopes, the connection starts off to fall aside, they usually separate whilst their daughter is a baby. difficulties among the 2 accentuate till, almost immediately earlier than her daughter’s 5th birthday, Abrams loses custody.
    In unheard of intensity, Abrams’s compelling narrative examines the social, criminal, and political implications of homosexual and lesbian parenting. Her haunting memoir asks the query, “What makes a mother?” it's a query that organic mom and dad, co-parents, adoptive mom and dad, step-parents, and divorced mom and dad needs to each one resolution of their personal manner. In telling one woman’s tale, The different Mother makes an effective case for criminal protections, together with marriage, for lesbian and homosexual families.

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The Other Mother: A Lesbian'S Fight For Her Daughter (Living Out: Gay and Lesbian Autobiographies)

On a spring day in 1993, Nancy Abrams helped her daughter gown for day care, packed her lunch, and acknowledged goodbye. subsequent she drove to courtroom, the place she realized that during the eyes of the legislations she used to be not anything greater than “a organic stranger” to the kid she helped deliver into the realm and increase. That was once the final time she might see her daughter or pay attention her voice for 5 years.

Extra resources for The Other Mother: A Lesbian'S Fight For Her Daughter (Living Out: Gay and Lesbian Autobiographies)

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When I asked what she had been doing in there for so long, she said it was nothing, she was just using the bathroom. Her tone of voice didn't invite further questioning. As I lay awake trying to put the pieces together, I remembered a friend in high school who ended up being hospitalized for bulimia. In the morning I asked Norma if she were having a problem with food. I told her I suspected she had been throwing up last night. "Of course not," Norma protested, looking so disgusted that for a moment I believed her.

Dissertation spread across the dining room table. Weeknights, I fell asleep to the tapping sound of typewriter keys. Pat, no longer my mother's professor but still her lover, invited me to join his college students for discussions and protest rallies. " My father had always said how alike my mother and I were. "Look at them, Big Sue and Little Sue," he'd say as we sat side by side watching television or reading. It was a phrase that used to fill him with pride. Now my mother and I were the same size in everything, and when my father would visit he'd be more likely to say, in a voice mixed with wonder and something less glad, "Look at you.

And I began to cry. I didn't want to end our relationship, but I felt trapped. How could you leave someone while you were still in love? It seemed unreasonable. And if I loved Norma so much, how could I deny her the opportunity to fulfill her dream? Somehow it didn't occur to me at that time that if she loved me, she could compromise, too. At least we could have waited. Instead, the next day I told her I would give it a try. I would become a mother. My mother started out like everybody else's in our suburban Long Island neighborhood.

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